Thursday, 12 January 2006

Aku Seorang CEO

Ingin aku ceritakan sedikit tentang kisah hidup aku. Aku dilahirkan di dalam sebuah keluarga yang sederhana. Kedua ibubapa ku adalah guru.

Alhamdulillah. Aku dianugerahkan oleh Allah akal yang cerdik. Dalam usia 18 tahun aku telah mendapat biasiswa untuk melanjutkan pelajaran ke luar negara iaitu di negara matahari terbit, Jepun. Aku mengambil jurusan Kejuruteraan dan masa beberapa tahun disana aku fasih bertutur dalam bahasa Jepun.

Selepas bertungkus- lumus hampir 5 tahun akhirnya aku berjaya mendapat segulung Ijazah. Aku tidak terus balik ke tanah air sebaliknya aku mengambil keputusan untuk terus menetap di sini dan bekerja untuk mengambil sedikit pengalaman. Dalam usia semuda 23 tahun aku bekerja sebagai Eksekutif di sebuah firma terkemuka Jepun.

Aku cepat menyerap segala ilmu yang dipelajari semasa bekerja di sini. 3 tahun lebih bekerja akhirnya aku mendapat kepercayaan pihak pengurusan dan dinaikkan pangkat dari Eksekutif ke penolong pengurus dan seterusnya menjadi Pengurus termuda didalam Firma tersebut. Hampir 6 tahun bekerja dis ana akhirnya aku diarahkan oleh majikan aku untuk pulang ke Malaysia.

Mereka telah melakukan pelaburan di Malaysiadan telah membuka sebuah Firma baru di sini dan akulah orang yang paling layak untuk mengendalikan firma mereka disini. Alahamdulillah… Aku dilantik sebagai Pengarah Urusan.

Aku bekerja siang dan malam… bertungkus lumus… dunia aku hanyalah di pejabat. Sekarang aku mempunyai 3 orang cahayamata anugerah tak ternilai dari Allah SWT. Tahun demi tahun aku semakin sibuk dengan urusan kerja. Firma yang aku kendalikan telah bertambah maju dan akhirya disenaraikan di papan kedua bursa saham Kuala Lumpur. Tidak sampai 7 tahun beroperasi sekali lagi kami telah disenaraikan ke papan utama BSKL. Hasil penat lelah selama ini ahkirnya berbaloi…. Aku dilantik sebagai CEO tempatan pertama di firma ini dengan bergaji sebanyak RM38 ribu bersih sebulan beserta 3 buah kereta mewah… Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Dalam usia 46 tahun sebagai CEO….aku mula terasa kehilangan sesuatu!!!!!

Kebahagian keluarga…. Kesibukan aku menyebabkan aku serahkan segala tugas sebagai seorang ayah kepada isteriku. Hubungan aku bersama keluarga renggang. Anak-anak aku tak terurus…yang sulung dah tak macam orang…rambut warna merah… bertindik di hidung. Apabila tiba waktu makan malam sudah tidak bersama lagi.

Segalanya kucar kacir. Pelajaran mereka pun entah kemana… Aku terlalu sibuk di pejabat. Meeting sanasini. Lunch pun nak meeting….main golf pun bincang pasal kerja…..dinner pun meeting lagi!!!!… sampai tiada masa untuk bersolat!!

Setiap pagi aku kena periksa segala lapuran-lapuran eksekutif aku…sebelah petang kena buat report pada Board of Directors. Sembahyang 5 waktu aku tunggang terbalik…. kekadang buat.. kekadang terlupa… masyaallah!!!! Setiap hari ada temujanji bersama client aku dari Jepun.

Aku mungkin kaya…tetapi jiwa aku kosong…kadang kala jiwa aku tertekan!!! Bila aku pulang ke rumah lewat malam aku bersolat…. aku menangis… aku memohon doa kepada Allah semoga diberikan ketenangan jiwa. Semoga keluarga ku bersatu kembali.

Selang seminggu aku bernekad…! !!! Aku telah meletakkan jawatan ku sebagai CEO. Aku tinggalkan gaji aku sebanyak RM38K sebulan dan aku pulangkan kesemua kereta-kereta mewahku pada syarikat. Keluarga ku terkejut. Isteriku menangis…. tetapi bukan menangis marahkan aku meninggalkan jawatan sebagai CEO… tetapi menangis kerana gembira… mereka gembira akhirnya aku kembali kepada mereka..!!!

Aku beritahu mereka aku ingin berniaga sendiri. Buka gerai jual Kuew Teow Goreng..!!!! Aku diketawakan oleh mereka…. tak apa aku akan buktikan yang bekas CEO akan lebih berjaya dengan berniaga kuew teow goreng !!!!

Dengan sedikit pengalaman sebagai tukang masak (tukang masak tak bertauliah) semasa belajar di Jepun dan sedikit duit simpanan aku memulakan perniagaan pertama aku di sekitar Ampang… bersebelah an dengan Citroen Showroom. Aku dibantu oleh anak sulung aku.

Hari pertama berniaga aku mendapat untung RM170.00 sehari. Berniaga dari jam 4 petang hingga 10 malam. Hari Kedua dapat RM 120.00 sehari. Hari ketiga dapat RM220.00 sehari…. alhamdulilah. Dan hari-hari seterusnya lebih kurang RM380.00. sehari.

Anggaran kasar pendapatan aku sebulan lebih kurang RM9,880.00 untuk satu gerai. perniagaan aku bertambah maju dalam 8 bulan aku membuka satu lagi gerai di Cheras… dari 2 gerai aku membuka 3..dan seterusnya sehingga sekarang aku memiliki 6 gerai makanan. Pendapatan bersih dari 6 gerai tadi aku memperolehi rezeki dari Allah dalam RM60, 000.00 SEBULAN. Bayangkan pendapatan seorang CEO RM38K sebulan dan pendapatan dari berniaga Kuew Teow sebulan RM60K. Kini aku bersenang lenang bersama-sama keluarga ku. Setiap bulan kami bercuti bersama.

Kini aku telah dapat kembali keluarga ku yang ‘hilang’. Anak-anak aku memang malas nak meneruskan pelajaran mereka. Jadi aku latih mereka berniaga. Merekalah sekarang yang menjalan perniagaan tersebut. Aku cuma memantau… atau lebih kurang jadi ‘chairman’…. dan anak-anak aku sebagai Directornya.

Sekali-sekali aku melihat jam di tangan. Oh, baru pukul 2.30.. lambat lagi nak balik. Cepat la sikit pukul 5.00 bolehla aku berangan lagi… Beginilah kehidupan aku seorang kerani kerajaan…

Laa….hampeh betul citer ni. Mat Jenin rupanyerr…

Monday, 9 January 2006

I Don’t Want To Grow Up

I wonder what my purpose of life is.
People always help me, but I can’t do anything in return.
To me, studying is my source of life, but I can’t find anything that is more important.
I can’t walk the hallway which is only 3 meters.
Can’t a human live only with their mind?
Can’t I walk using only my upper half of the body?
I wanna be like the air. The good-hearted person whose kindness overflows and people realize how important she was to them, once she is gone.
I wanna be that kind of person.

Tuesday, 3 January 2006

Lack of Passion is Fatal

  1. Darling, the world’s not really against you. The only thing that’s against you is yourself.
  2. There is something beautiful about all scars, whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.
  3. You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known-and even that is an understatement. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
  4. Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life…you give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness so simple a phrase like “maybe we should be friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
  5. I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it. Because if I had done one thing differently, I might have never met you.  
  6. It’s crazy because I don’t even know when you became so important to me. It’s like watching a snowstorm. You see the flakes falling, but you don’t realize how they’re adding up. Then suddenly, your whole lawn is covered. All these little things have added up, and you’re my snowstorm.
  7. God causes things to happen at exactly the right time! Your job is not to figure out when, but to make up your mind that you won’t give up until you cross the finish line and are living in the radical, outrageous blessings of God! The more you trust Jesus and keep your eyes focused on Him, the more life you’ll have. Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest. So stop trying to figure everything out, and let God be God  in your life. 
  8. You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they’re as dull as a brick? Then there’s other people, when you meet them, you think, “Not bad. They’re okay.” And then you get to know them and their face just sort of becomes them. Like their personality’s written all over it.And they just turn into something so beautiful. 
  9. Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we’re waiting for.
  10. Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting.
  11. Today, forget your past, forgive yourself, and begin again.
  12. A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It’s just His way of letting you realize He saved you from the wrong one. 
  13. Someone once told me that some of us are actually afraid of the dark; we’re scared of what it conceals from us. We’re afraid of having something with the potential to hurt us standing right before our eyes and not registering it as a threat. People can be like that too.
  14. Sometimes, I think that the stars  are actually a huge connect-the-dot puzzle, and if we could only find the right pattern in which to connect them, then maybe we could figure out what they’re trying to tell us. And I think that there is a different pattern for every living person, every person that has ever lived, and every person that will ever live. So in a way, we’re all written into the night sky. And we gaze up at the sky, lying beneath our fears and dreams, and futures, and if we could find the right pattern, we might be able to know where we’re supposed to be. But the night sky is bigger than I can even begin to grasp, so I lay down on the damp summer grass amidst laughter and sips of wine, and I trace my finger along the brightest stars I can find, and I smile. The stars can keep the burden of knowing where it is that I will end up, because I am happy with where I am right now. When they twinkle, I think they’re winking at me, like they know something I don’t know, but I don’t mind. Sometimes, I like being in the dark, and right now, I don’t mind at all.
  15. God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect; let me add, God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
  16. Sometimes, we are so busy chasing the sunlight, that we forget that the darkness is chasing us. 
  17. You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. (Psalm 56:8, NLT)
  18. I am and always will be- the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams. 
  19. Dear best friend, I love you more daily. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you and I wish you could love yourself the way I love you. And above all, I wish your life is everything you deserve because, in my opinion, you deserve the world. I will stand by you forever. My heart will always belong to you.
  20. How do you look at someone you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away?
  21. Be contented. Yes, there are people greater than her. There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring, and more fortunate. That’s life- full of temptations. But don’t be deceived by those things. Because didn’t you ever realize that there are people who are also greater than you? Yet she chose you.  
  22. You are loved. You are valuable. You are crafted with beauty and purpose. I treasure you and this world needs you. There is no one like you. You don’t need to look like the rest, or talk like the rest, or be like the rest. There is no truth in the lie that you don’t mater. The world needs you as you are. You are loved and you were put here for a reason. You were not an accident. You are not a mistake. 
  23. Dear future husband,  I hope our love is the kind that I don’t even have to think about. I hope I never have to convince myself to love any certain part of you because I hope it all comes naturally. I hope our love is the kind that is quiet on the outside, but loud on the inside. I want to love you like the space between lightning and thunder- electrified and alive, but silent and knowing. And I want you to love me like clouds love the rain. You’re going to have to let me go on my own sometimes, but I will always come back and we will always be two parts of the same thing.