Thursday, 30 November 2006

Ways to reject pick-up lines

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Yes, I’m the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “I’d really like to get into your pants.”
Woman: “No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there.”

The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused:
Man: “Want to Dance?”
Woman: “No, thank you.”
Man: “Don’t thank me, thank God somebody asked you.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “Female impersonator.”

And here’s one including the correct snappy return.
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized, screw off!”

A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60’s approach her in a club while she was in college with the line,”Where have you been all my life?” She took one glance at him and said, “For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.”

A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, “What are you looking at?” My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, “He thought you were
good looking, but he was mistaken.”

While at college, a few friends were discussing how their “passes” had been rejected by the intended female receiver. One of the ladies explained how she handled it once… When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out something like, “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!” She responded, “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!” He immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he would look someplace else.

“Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.”

Tuesday, 21 November 2006

What Girls really mean

What do you really mean when…..
  • You push him away?: i don’t quite like your way… (ya, something like that)
  • You hug him?: i like you or i miss you or i love you or don’t leave me
  • You tell him you don’t wanna be around a crowd?: i just want to be with you… or i don’t want somebody (relatives or friends) to see both of us…
  • You tell him to just forget it?: well… i really mean that he should just forget it or i don’t really mind about it…
  • You tell him it’s too expensive?: don’t buy it because i would be in guilty…
  • You say you hate him?: i don’t like his attitude or something that makes me annoying…

What would you do if….
  • You caught him cheating?: i would silently leave him…
  • He bought you a diamond ring?: i would ask him what’s the purpose of buying me a diamond ring…
  • Proposed to you?: I would only say YES if I feel secure together with him… The word ‘secure’ here means I can trust him, let him shows his weaknesses, etc…
  • Your parents didn’t like him?: I’d re-consider about it… I might give priority to my parents first…
  • He got u pregnant next week?: *palis palis* Sure he has to be responsible for the thing he has done (well… it means both of the parties have to be responsible)
  • He went to jail?: *palis palis* It doesn’t really matter as long as he didn’t attempt to kill me.
  • He died?: Cry… Miss…

That special somebody
  • Who were you thinking of during this survey?: nobody
  • Are you two dating?: nope…